Yes, yes, it has been a very long time since I last blogged. Hopefully I will be back to the routine. . .
I honestly can’t believe I just typed that title for this article, but yes, I do need to be more of a ball hog.
A ball hog is a derisive term in basketball for a player who tends to handle the ball so exclusively that his or her behavior is damaging to their team. For this reason, “ball-hogging” is generally considered unacceptable playing behavior at all levels of basketball competition, especially by the player’s teammates and coach. However, ball-hogging is not a violation of the rules of basketball.
The main behavior associated with being a ball hog is excessive shooting, including frequent attempts at difficult shots (especially when passing to an open player would’ve made the chances of a successful shot to the basket much greater). Passing to teammates is something that ball hogs tend to overlook. Ball hogs attempt to monopolize their play of the ball, frequently dribbling excessively and infrequently passing the ball to a teammate.
What I’m basically saying is that I need to take better care of myself. I’m afraid my inbox will now be flooded with people’s advice on how to fix me and about the joys of sabbath, rest, boundaries, and the value of saying no. I’m sure they will give me the names of retreats I can go to and books I can read and rhythms they’ve found replenshing to their souls. Somone will likely remind me of the slow and lazy pace of Jesus’ life, and how my life pattern is proof of something unholy. I’m sure the seminary class I took on spiritual formation should change all of that.
In the end, that slew of well-intentioned advice might even be right. The honest truth is, it all just feels like more to read, more to do, and another paper to write.
I have a deeply rooted desire not to screw up being a husband, a dad, or a youth pastor. But the demands on all three of those roles at this stage of my life are huge. I don’t want to become another statistic of a youth pastor who put family last or who loved the church more than his wife. I have one kid: a 17 month old daughter. I strive to be active in her life (just wait till we have more kids) and let her know she comes first. But I do have a church that provides me with a paycheck that I also use to provide for my family, and thus my job comes with an endless list of needs and demands on my time. The truth is, the hardest person to keep on the list of priorities is not my wife, or family, or the church. It’s myself.
Everytime I’ve read and taught on the two greatest commandments, I’ve focused on 2 things: Love God and love others. Numerous churches have boiled their mission statements down to just that. I’ve told students that it is essentially the whole Bible in four words. It’s the primal creed of the Christian life. I’ve both challenged them and tried to live it out, believing that as long as we keep the order right and love God with all we are first, then we can live out St. Augustine’s “Love God and do as you please” with great freedom. If we love God, we can love others. Period.
I lead a senior high guys small group, and we share with each other joys and concerns. One of the struggles and disciplines that come up is that I don’t take enough time out to pray in solitude or do things to reenergize my own faith walk. This is an important task as I lead and minister to our own youth, who also don’t take time out to re-energize themselves. Youth today are so bombarded with homework, chores, extracurricular activities, and college applications that take away their precious time of being youth! Yes, even our youth need time out for themselves—-how are we to function at our best if we aren’t taking care of ourselves?!?
This might sound selfish—-hence the phrase ‘ball hog’—but even on a team, a ball hog could be a good thing. When a team is down, and in trouble, a superstar needs to take it upon him or herself to become a ball hog, and lead the team to victory. Of course, then the word ‘ball hog’ becomes ‘star player’, right? God doesn’t want us to neglect ourselves—God wants us to flourish, and if that means taking time out for ourselves, then so be it!
If Jesus has called me to love others like I love myself, I have some self love to work on. I need to understand that saying no isn’t just a way to gain more time in my day. It’s a way to take care of myself so I can rightly love others. I need to love my own heart and soul and mind and body so that I have a right heart and soul and mind and body from which to love others.
Grace and Peace,
Peter Joseph
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